One of the books I'm currently reading is Close Friends, How Girls and Women Forge Lasting Relationships, by Suzanne Degges-White & Christine Borzumato-Gainey. I've found the book both interesting and validating. It confirms something I've long ago realized: in friendships and relationships my emotional comportment, thoughts and behaviors more closely resemble what society calls a female perspective. I don't buy that bullshit though. My close male friends, tattooed muscle heads, and I are emotionally articulate men. In my mind a person who handles the emotional realm with alacrity is fully developed and those men who cannot seem like cowards. I've always been a bull-by-the-horns guy. Seriously, what are they afraid of? If they fear looking less masculine, well, I'd hate to have such a tenuous grasp on my identity. But I guess that's a problem I don't have.
So while this happens to be a library copy, I've got reams of bookmarks in interesting passages. Here's one that jumped out at me tonight. A woman named Rebecca who was interviewed by the authors said:
"You can appreciate a bright roaring fire from a distance and enjoy the view. It adds a nice touch and you can imagine the warmth that is coming from the flames. Kind of like enjoying the presence of colorful, entertaining acquaintances. Yet to truly feel the warmth of the fire and benefit from the energy it produces, you have to move closer - just like with building friendships. You have to let yourself get close before you can enjoy the warmth and bask in the glow."
Yep, my thoughts exactly. I deeply value my few close friends and everyone else? Not so much.