"There is an old adage which states that if we desire something strongly enough , it's ours for the taking - where there's a will, there's a way. If you are lonely, you can do certain things to alleviate it. If you are experiencing conflicts in loving, you can take steps to solve them. We have the power to improve, but we must also have the will. Solutions can come on the heels of need, but they do not materialize on their own. They arise from a deep desire to really do something.
I receive anguished letters from lover who cry out in despair about their inability to form and maintain lasting relationships. They desperately seek solutions from me, from Dear Abby, from therapists and ministers, but they do nothing. Their excuse is that they are unable to make decisions. They claim to be at their wit's end, clutching at straws, without a clue, at a dead end, helpless, hopeless - so many convenient words and phrases to confirm their powerlessness. In reality, they simply lack the essential determination to get out of their quandry. Though they assert their need to do something, they are unwilling to make the required adjustments, compromises and perhaps even sacrifices necessary to attain their goal.
Love is always there for the taking. The question is, do we really want it badly enough to do the soul searching and hard work necessary to acquire it, or are we just kidding ourselves?"
- from Born For Love by Dr. Leo Buscaglia