I'm posting these inane posts but what I'd really like to post about is my stunning past partner. I'd post all sorts of photos of us having fun. But her privacy is important so I'd never nor even ask her. Y'all will just have to take my word for it, she was movie-star-drop-dead-gorgeous (and educated, brilliant, chiseled, financially strong and NO children[!] - I kid you not).
I want to tell everyone about her, proclaim how unhappy I am without her in the naive imaginative belief (leftover no doubt from my former religious upbringing) that if I complain loudly and persistently enough to the universe (God), someone damn well will do something about it. 'Course the reason I became an atheist in the first place (aside from a scientific world view) is that the giant ombudsman in the sky never did a damn thing in response to my continual palaver. That's when I realized I was on the wrong track... ombudsman? I don't need an ombudsman. A lawyer is whom I need to pursue my claims. Some one aggressive, fearless, sharp... hey, wait a minute. I know just the guy. Satan! I'll bet his briefcase smokes. I figure he'd be able to secure my aims so long as we don't run up against Daniel Webster. No shit, if I could hire Satan to get my partner back we'd spit on our palms and shake 'cause she's worth eternal fire.